College Football Round-Up: Week 1

And we're not even done with week one yet.

The big news?

#18 Ohio State (42) - Akron (0): Ohio State rolled despite having 8 players suspended. Luke Fickell did a fine job in his head coaching debut. Ohio State's defense shut out Akron. Braxton Miller and Bauserman both looked like solid quarterbacks. Their substitute running backs didn't have to work as hard because of this solid passing game. Carlos Hyde still performed well on the ground. This is still going to be a good team. I don't understand why the most recent three players were suspended ("accepting less than $300 at a charity event"), and I hope to see them back sooner than later.

Also awesome about this game? Urban Meyer called it. He oozed charisma and pro-OSU sensibilities. I want him to coach the Buckeyes. He is openly flirting with the Ohio State fans. Please let this happen.

Louisville (21) - Murray State (9): Louisville cruised over Murray State. But they didn't cruise with any swagger. They cruised in my old 1986 Toyota Carolla complete with its crappy stereo system, sagging interior trim, and rusting undercarriage. The team looked green. Really green. Still...this could be an 8-win team or a 4-win team. There's no telling yet, and playing in the Big East doesn't make this prediction any easier. So UofL looked poor, but it could have been worse. It could have looked like this....

Kentucky (14) - Western Kentucky (3): Kentucky looked bad. Really bad. I thought Louisville looked green, but UK really surprised me by how....it's hard to say without coming off as insulting....this team looked worse than Louisville. Granted, neither team has high expectations. And neither team was really tested (pick who's better - Murrary State or Western Kentucky). Louisville's offense at least has spurts of competence in the first half. I didn't watch all of the UK game, but I didn't hear much about UK having even brief glimpses of what their offense has looked like for the past 3 years. I think this is going to be a long year for both teams. I think UofL could go bowling. I don't think UK will, and that's only because of their conference schedules. I also feel better about UofL's chances of winning the Governor's Cup. That won't be anything to hang my hat on, but it's there.

Western Kentucky had this to say about their Kentucky opponents:

#11 Wisconsin (51) - UNLV (17): This was a really fun game to watch for one reason - Wisconsin's scary effective new offensive look. Russel Wilson adds a new dimension to Wisconsin, and that dimension is the dark, nebulous dimension that eats my favorite teams. I've come to expect Wisconsin to run, run, run, and then run some more. Now they're also throwing accurate long balls. This does not bode well for the rest of the B1G. I have some reservations of my own about how Wilson came to Wisconsin for one season and was named a Senior Co-Captain. I would be kind of pissed if I'd played with the Badgers for 3-4 years, put in my time, and then this new guy got the co-captain nod. That being said, it looks like he is going to earn it.

The bad news for Wisconsin? UNLV managed to poke some serious holes in their defense, and that is weird. Still, I see Wisconsin in the B1G championship game if they can right these wrongs.

Baylor (50) - #14 TCU (48): Baylor's Robert Griffin III (who is now obnoxiously known as RG3) ran amok on what was supposed to be a solid TCU defense. Unless TCU runs the table (which includes a game at Boise State) they have no chance of going to a significant bowl game. This sucks, because they were supposed to come into the Big East with a wealth of success. Ah well. Gary Patterson really needs to buy shirts that fit and don't make him look like a giant infant. ESPN loved showing a picture of him squatting and holding his game plan in his mouth for some reason. Baylor will surprise people in the (former) Big-XII minus 2. I texted Mike and predicted that RG3 will now be in every commentator's Heisman Hopeful talk. Bleh. Someone is going to "fucking kill someone."

HINT: It's this TCU fan.

Northwestern (24) - Boston College (17): This is a solid B1G win, and I'm impressed that Northwestern won despite not having Dan Persa. This is a good sign. Lee Corso and the College Gameday crew made the comment that Persa was the B1G Ten's best QB last year. This pissed me off because they're forgetting all about Denard Robinson and Terrelle Pryor. And Kirk Cousins for that matter. And some announcers suggested that Northwestern might surprise people and make it to the B1G Ten championship game. Not to ruin anyone's surprise, but they will not.

#23 Auburn (42) - Utah State (38): As crazy as this game was, it won't be the craziest game we see this season. Auburn was down 10 with 2 minutes left to play in the game. Utah State choked and handed the game over in the last minute. It was craziness. I did not think that Auburn would pull it out after being outmatched the entire game. Auburn fans were filing out of the stadium prematurely. I wouldn't be happy even WITH the win if I were them.Mike was quick to point out that this guy was playing for USU, all but guaranteeing that Sylvester Stallone (played in this case by Gene Chizik) would make a surprise comeback, probably jumping through a window or crashing through a wall in a car, to kill Wesley Snipes (played here by weird USU running back). If you watch this game and sync it with any mid-80's/early-90's action movie, you knew Auburn would win.

Michigan (34) - Western Michigan (10): Michigan kind of won this game in Brady Hoke's debut as head coach for the Wolverines. I italicize "kind of" because this game was not played in its entirety. After experiencing several rain delays, and because Brady Hoke's shirt was soaked to the point of nipple visibility, the game was conceded and Michigan "won."

Michigan's defense looked wobbly early but really came through after the first rain delay. They actually scored 14 of the team's 34 points. That's a huge improvement over last year's defense (led by Greg Robinson for reasons nobody that has ever watched Greg Robinson can understand). Mike is excited about this team. I'm really looking forward to next week's game against Notre Dame. Speaking of....

USF (23) - #16 Notre Dame (20): Despite almost three hours of rain delays here, this was my favorite game of the day/night. It started on NBC. USF went up 16-0. Then this happened.

And then God said:

Every time Notre Dame came out of a rain delay, they looked fired up, revamped, jazzed, and ready to right the ship. So God sent more and more rain. But even God couldn't overcome Skip Holz and his powerful Big East football. Notre Dame lost a stunner. Everyone I was texting with celebrated. I had never seen Bryan Kelly go Super Sayan before. It was a fun game.

#5 Boise State (35) - #19 Georgia (21): This game was irrelevant to me. It was a forgone conclusion. Georgia, perennially overrated and prone to sulking away after losses in big games, would be the over-matched team from an AQ conference that would lose to an overrated Boise State, solidifying the argument that WHEN Boise State goes undefeated through the MWC they should be entitled to play in the MNC game. Boise State has done it to Oregon and Virginia Tech in the past. Now it was Georgia, an even wetter paper bag that Boise State punched through.

Georgia will not be playing in any SEC championship game or any BCS bowl. They will not finish the season ranked. There will be concern in December surrounding whether or not Mark Richt will continue to coach there. It was a silly, overhyped game, and everyone knew it. Both teams tried to distract from this by wearing the silliest uniforms seen on TV in a long time (and that's saying something).

I read somewhere that if Boise State played in a BCS conference that they would be Iowa or Missouri, and I completely agree with this. Sometimes they have great seasons and deserve good bowl games. But to start the season at 5 and then earn nothing by beating up on MWC teams...doesn't say a whole lot. Right now Boise State fans are crossing their fingers and praying that TCU and Georgia go on to have GREAT seasons. Right now I don't think they will. And I think this will continue to be the albatross around Boise State's neck that I cannot look past. I *did* enjoy that the whiter-than-white Boise State QB had on a white-on-white uniform. Made me smile a little.

#4 LSU (40) - #3 Oregon (27): My favorite troll headline from this game? "Oregon has lost two games in the past two seasons - both to SEC teams." Trolling doesn't get better than this, and I'm just glad to hear it said about a team other than Ohio State. And what a great, fast-paced game it was! I knew it was going to be a scorcher when Les Miles ran out of the tunnel with his team, got lost, and ran in a different direction. Fittingly, he threw a lot of different offensive schemes at Chip Kelly's Oregon Ducks last night. It was an entertaining game to watch, and I really hope for good things for the Tigers this season. It will be interesting to see how they do against their SEC West cohorts.

Still, they looked sharp. Oregon didn't look bad. Not really. They just looked thin compared to LSU. It didn't help that their two best running backs both left the game at various points leaving a freshman RB to do his best against the stout LSU defense. To be fair, it would have been a much closer game if LSU hadn't choked 14 out of that freshman RB.

Games of note that I didn't follow:

• #25 USC (19) beats Minnesota (17): for no good reason, USC is again starting the season ranked in the top 25. An improved Minnesota team almost beat them. Lane Kiffin had nothing good to say about his team's second half performance. This is not a team that deserves a ranking this high. They will not finish in the top 5 of the Pac 12. That's my prediction.
• Penn State (41) beats Indiana State (7): Reports indicate that their offense is clicking where last year it tried to click but accidentally tripped on its own sock, fell, and cracked its head open on the bench. I don't have high expectations for this team, but I do think they will perform better than last year.
• #2 Alabama (48) beats Kent State (7): this surprised nobody. Alabama, like LSU, has an elite team, but I anticipate they will stutter once or twice in SEC West play.
• Purdue (27) beats Middle Tennessee (24): Purdue almost coughed up on itself and barely squeaked past MTSU. This does not bode well for what is supposed to be the second best team in Indiana. I'm actually looking forward to see how they'll perform against a rebuilding and improved IU team at the end of the season.
• #6 Florida State (34) beats Louisiana-Monroe (0): FSU could be the real deal. They'll be playing against a diminished Miami team this year, and their real tests will be their non-conference opponents, Oklahoma and Florida. I think those games could go either way. If they can come out with W's on those games, this will be a team that goes to a BCS bowl.
• #22 Florida (41) beats Florida Atlantic (3): Will Muschamp's debut went very well. Team Weis' offense performed with terrifying efficiency. Florida plays Alabama, @LSU, @Georgia, @USCe, and at home against FSU. If they can split those games, I believe they will win the SEC East and secure a spot in a decent bowl game. This was a cupcake game, though, and there's no telling how they will perform in two weeks against UT. Coach Deathstare is going to deal with his fair share of tough games, but I think he has the talent to excel. Should be an interesting team to watch this season.
• Houston (38) beats UCLA (35): And that's a wrap on Rick Neuheisel's coaching career at UCLA. Or it should be anyhow. Yes, UCLA was the underdog going into this game, but f'n hell, how many chances is Ricky supposed to get at that school? And why do they keep recruiting Mr. Glass from Unbreakable as their QB?
• BYU (14) beats Ole Miss (13): What a crap show. Both teams seem inept. BYU less so, I suppose. Ole Miss led 13-0 at the beginning of the fourth quarter (two field goals with a special teams score on a BYU fumbled kick return). BYU garnered 7 points as Ole Miss' defense sputtered out midway through the fourth. Then, with 5 minutes left in the game, Ole Miss' QB Stoudt fumbled the ball away, and BYU scored. Neither team seems super impressive. This is important to note, though, because this was BYU's first game as an independent this season.
• Syracuse (36) beats Wake Forest (29) in OT: I wish I had watched more of this. Syracuse under Doug Marrone has already improved dramatically after suffering through GregRobinsonfluenza. I don't think anyone in the Big East looks to Syracuse as an automatic win anymore. I also think Syracuse will give USC a fit.
• Less important: Cincinnati smoked Austin Peay with a sharp offense. Duke lost to Richmond. Pittsburgh struggled against Buffalo but won. Clemson struggled against Troy but put them away in the second half. Oregon State lost to an FCS team. UNC beat JMU in their coach's first game with the team. Miami (OH) played tough but lost to an overrated Missouri (#21) team.

Having college football back is glorious. Without having a drop of alcohol last night, I still *felt* it. It's weird. I was drunk with excitement and sheer joy.