Zion I - Soo Tall

Cheyenne Marie Mize : Friend

Cheyenne’s debut Before Latelywill be out October 12th, 2010 through sonaBLAST! Records. She recently released this new video for the track Friend, which was shot in homebase of Louisville, KY. The video was filmed in The Rathskeller Room of Louisville’s famed Seelbach Hilton Hotel and features giant puppets courtesy of Sean Hennessey and Squallis Puppeteers, as well as cameos from Louisville band Wax Fang.

Bacon

This space reserved for a post about bacon.

I'm gradually adding more and more recipes to what is going to be an epic bacon post.

Bacon Explosion

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/dining/281brex.html?_r=1

http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/bacon-cookies/Detail.aspx

Chromeo - Don't Turn the Lights On

Don't Turn The Lights On from Chromeo1 on Vimeo.

Bourbon Write-Up in the new Playboy (October 2010)

I present to you, dear blog reader, the two pages in the October 2010 issue of Playboy that will be stuck together.

I love it when Playboy reviews spirits. I cut them out and add them to my recipe scrapbook. I shouldn't be so critical, because they didn't give any more or any less space to gin or rum when they reviewed different brands, but there is so much more of the story to tell.

Thanks to the additions of old cocktail recipe books from my father and from Dr. Pat I am in a fit of collecting old cocktails. This is, of course, in addition to my new fascination with infusing spirits at home (holla at this delicious homemade bacon bourbon).

This reminds me that I need to get up and running on the blog I'm writing dedicated to my new opinion of bacon.

I also hope Playboy doesn't reach out and ask me to remove this post. Hey, Playboy, just ask. Don't sue. Please.

Bad Tits - Bankok Hilton

College Football Round-Up: Week 1

Whew. I'm so glad its back, and I'm so glad I made it through all of it. This definitely set my high-water-mark for consumption of both football and bacon. Fortunately, I survived college football's first week and lived to tell the tale. I am little-school-girl happy that I upgraded the sports package I get through my cable provider. The Big Ten Network and Versus are welcome additions to the above-average sports lineup Cablevision was already providing (still can't get ESPN3 up here, though). So here's my take on the games that made or broke my first weekend of the season:

DAY ONE - on the first day, he watched college football, and he was pleased with what he had done.

Ohio State 45 vs. Marshall 7 - Ohio State exposed Marshall to a romance explosion all over Marshall's face. The crowd was way into this game. The Ohio State players were way into this game. Jim Tressell was an expressionless, calculating ninja assassin of a coach. Fun Fact? Marshall did not score any offensive points.

Its weird, then, that the seven points the team generated were on a blocked field goal return. One of Tressell's more adamantly-focused pieces of the team, Special Teams, choked badly on several occasions, but the blocked field goal being returned for a touchdown was one of the worst. If there's one thing that is going to be mathematically stewed about before the Miami game next week, it will be Ohio State's special teams. Otherwise, Terrelle Pryor, Boom Herron, DeVier Posey, Dane Sanzenbacher, and Brandon Saine (Brand InSane!) were all clicking.

The season and the game itself started off with a high note when Ohio State picked up the fumble from Marshall on the opening kickoff. I hope its indicative of them intimidating all of their opponents throughout the end of the year. I don't expect an undefeated season, and I don't anticipate playing in the national championship game. But I do see good things happening for this team. Yes, Miami also rocked and rolled in their opener over FAMU, but everybody rocks and rolls over FAMU. We'll see how that game plays out. I might feel differently about this OSU team after next Saturday.

Rutgers (31) vs. Norfolk State (0) - I want to see a Rutgers game in person this season. I really do. I didn't get to watch this game, but I read about it in the newspaper. Rutgers won big but didn't play big. Apparently they played like crap, and it makes me wonder how much more magic Greg Schiano has left in his tank. The good thing about Rutgers playing horribly is that it should make tickets affordable. They are going to FIU to play next week (and should win), and then UNC should beat them at Rutgers the following week. This is going to be a tough season for Rutgers if they continue to play at this level of intensity. They're lucky to have both Syracuse and Louisville going to play them AT Rutgers. I suspect they might serve as the only two conference wins unless something changes.

Pitt (24) vs. Utah (27) - This was a heartbreaker of a game, and I say that as a fan of neither team, but a hater of Utah. I also support Big East teams. I also "un-support" teams from non-BCS conferences when they're playing a BCS team. Yes, Utah is an emerging team on the verge of moving to an honest-to-God BCS conference, and yes they had a long home winning streak that wasn't going to be changed any time soon, but dammit....Pitt has the Wannstache on their side! This was the first inkling I had that the Big East wasn't going to do well this weekend. Despite some epic plays by a new QB and the dependable Dion Lewis and Jonathon Baldwin, Pitt couldn't come up with it here. Utah's coach is also a dick for calling timeout mid-kick TWICE when Pitt's field goal unit was mid-kick trying to, and ultimately tieing the game, sending it to overtime. It sucks that the Big East's highest-ranked team stumbled here, but I think it will serve as the exception to the Pittsburgh rule.

Thursday Games I Didn't Watch But Whose Outcomes I Enjoyed:

• Minnesota beats Middle Tennessee State by a touchdown in the 4th quarter. MTSU was leading this game into the 4th quarter. They're not a bad team, but they shouldn't be threatening to beat Minnesota, not after the hype that Minn. (undeservedly) had going into this year. Still, a B10 win's a win.
• USC beats Hawaii by 13 points in a high-scoring effort. I like the fact that Hawaii was still in this. I dislike USC. "Dislike" is an understatement. I think their #14 ranking is ridiculous, and I can't wait to see them crumble when they get into conference play. I have no personal aversion to Matt Barley or any of the other players on their team. Just dislike the coach and the essense of USC.

To wrap up the first day of the 2010 football season, I want to end on a high note. I absolutely love that you're back college football. Couldn't be happier. But Thursday? We can't keep meeting like this? Sooner or later work is going to find out. We have a good thing going here. Let's try to keep most games on Saturdays. I can understand the occasional tryst here and there (Big East and ACC football I'm looking at you), but c'mon. Give me a break. Let's compromise. I'll promise to watch as much of you as I can, either on TV or in person, and I promise to continue buying hats and t-shirts and jackets. But meet me in the middle. Not so many games on Thursday, ok?

DAY TWO - pace yourself

Arizona (41) vs. Toledo (2) - to be honest, I was so jacked for Saturday at this point, and tired from a long week of work and night full of football the night before that I barely checked into this one. This was more a curiosity for me to see how Toledo would do. And they weren't to terribly awful in the first 20 minutes. But good Lord almighty there were terribly awful for the rest of the game. I can't blame them for letting the wind to come out of their sails. Arizona looks better than I expected. Oh well. I played a lot of 2010 NCAA Football during this game. Also cooked and ate a steak and tomato pie. In other news, noticed that my chest hair is starting to reclaim the "M" I shaved into my chest for Mike's bachelor party. When you're noticing things like this instead of watching football, its a bad sign.

DAY THREE - Three shall be the number. No more. No less. Three shall be the number thou count, and the number of the counting shall be three.

Holy shit. College Gameday starts at 9 now. It is arguably one of the best feelings ever to roll over in bed, put on your glasses, click on the TV and see the ESPN crew talking football. AT 9 A.M. Not ten! NINE! Of course, everything before 10 is just pomp and circumstance. And every one of my sports channels was interviewing the same coaches and talking about the same players. But still. Last year, more than any other year before, I got wrapped up in College Gameday. This was for several reasons.

First, Saturday mornings I usually woke up early in the house I was sharing with Mike and Taylor. I would take our cans and bottles to the recycling center and then go to the grocery store and liquor store to stock up for the day. I'd get home and start on breakfast (eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, coffee, and fresh souls....just like Soul Calibur's Nightmare), and I'd review my menu for the day. Usually Mike and I would start drinking sometime around 11. As Gameday previewed what to expect for the next 12 hours, I would prepare some good food, talk some shit at Mike about Michigan, open the windows to let the breeze roll in, I would shoo away two shih tzu's (one sane, the other retarded), and I'd ready the grill or the oven for some cooking of epic proportions.

For the first time in six months, I got homesick yesterday morning. It wasn't because I received a dopey e-mail or letter from a friend or family member back home. It wasn't because I was reading facebook posts about the Louisville/Kentucky rivalry. It was when the College Gameday theme song came on at 10, and I remembered Saturday mornings at the house. I have definitely learned some things about myself since I moved up here. One of the most important lessons was that I'll need a porch and a grill at wherever I move to next. Friends and family are good things to have around. But damn it I miss being able to grill outside and sit and read and smoke a cigar and sip booze in the fresh air. I would move into the shittiest little bung-hole of an apartment tomorrow if it meant I could have an outside area. Good gracious.

Anyway, onto the games:

Opening Salvo - Noon Games: There really wasn't anything to write home about with the noon games. Penn State didn't look too hot beating Youngstown State, and unless something changes there I think they'll finish 4th (at best) in the Big Ten. Illinois lost to Missouri late in their game, which was kind of a bummer because I have a new co-worker that went there. Florida tripped over themselves, literally, to beat Miami Ohio, and I hope this is indicative of how their season goes. Overall, though, the noon games were kind of a bummer. So I didn't feel bad getting SUPER-amped about the 3:30 games.

Louisville (16) vs. Kentucky (23) - If you ask a UofL fan, nobody will admit that they expected Louisville to pull the upset. But in our hearts, we all held hope. I mean, its still Kentucky. Yes, we're a shitty football team now, but there's a light at the end of this tunnel. And yes, Kentucky is also a historically shitty football team. But for now, they're not as shitty. I didn't get to see this game, but I had enough friends texting me during the game, and CBS' gamecast tried its hardest to keep me updated, but it didn't really do a good job. I don't expect either team to have exciting seasons, but this was an interesting game to see play out. I will go ahead and claim "Moral Victory" for the Louisville fans. Things will get better for us. We've already survived through the Kragthorpe Valley, now we're climbing to the Strong Peak.

Michigan (30) vs. UCONN (10) - The Upset That Wasn't. Randy Edsall and his UConn team had SO much momentum coming into this game, and there was SO much uncertainty for Rich Rod and his Michigan team that nobody would have been surprised if Michigan lost another home opener. But for the sake of one of my best friends, I was seriously happy at the outcome of this game. In fact, I had planned on switching between this game and the Notre Dame/Purdue game, but I couldn't take my eyes off this one. I witnessed the emergence of Denard "Shoelace" Robinson and possibly the demise of a whiny, bratty Tate Forcier (he sat by himself away from his team with a towel over his head, appearing to sulk throughout the game).

Before the game, the media was really shitting on Rich Rodriguez and throwing out statistics that made him sound like a real bastard for the shame he has brought to the Michigan program. As soon as things started to click for Rich Rod and Denard Robinson, though, the same announcers were backtracking and explaining how Lloyd Carr had shorted the Michigan recruiting stable and didn't leave Rich Rod with a lot of depth to work with. They also explained that Robinson was "Pat White-esque," and really fulfilling the mobile quarterback role that Rich Rod's program NEEDED to be successful. So, the announcers explained, "get off of Rodriguez' back!"

Just like they did last year, I have a feeling that Michigan is going to be another sweetheart, come-from-behind team for the first 4 or 5 games. Then they'll drop one or two. Then a lot of attention will come off of them. I expect they'll do better than later year. If yesterday's game was any indication, they'll do a helluva lot better than they did last year. I feel good for this team, and I would be both surprised and happy if they finished the season in the top half of the Big Ten. I hope Rich Rod makes it for a while at this school, because I do think he's a quality coach. This was by far the funnest game I watched all day.

LSU (30) vs. UNC (24) - Usually, 90% of the time, I would pull for LSU to win this game. However, because of their shortage of players, and because so many people wrote this game off when they heard UNC left some 13 players at home for this game, I was pulling for the Tarheels. I generally dislike teams from the ACC, especially if they come from North Carolina. And I generally pull for teams that my friends have ties to (David). But the North Carolina squad was SUCH an underdog in this game that I couldn't help but pull for them, especially after the solid performance in the first quarter. And AGAIN in the fourth quarter! Wow! This turned out to be a very, very exciting game!

It was good to hear Brent Musburger calling a football game. Erin Andrews was there. Kirk Herbstreit. Yadda Yadda. And it might seem tertiary, but ABC has the best high definition cameras for sports. Better than NBC, the ESPNs, Versus, etc. Watching a good game on ABC Saturday Night College Football is a treat, regardless of who's playing. The fact that this was such a fun game only added to the experience. Great endcap to a day of quality games. The only thing better would have been the UCONN/Michigan game in the top spot, but neither of those teams were ranked, so I can understand why ABC settled on this one.

I'm beginning to think that Les Miles isn't as good a coach as people thought (myself included). Yes, he was exposed in last year's game against Ole Miss. In this game, too, it seemed that when UNC got their momentum going, he didn't know how to handle it. UNC would have won this game if their tight end hadn't bungled the ball on the last two plays. There was also a questionable no-call on the last throw, too. Les Miles doesn't ever seem to have intelligible answers, either, whenever he's asked about LSU shortcomings. I'm not saying he's a bad coach. I just wonder how much he benefited from the momentum Saban left behind at LSU before he jumped to the NFL (and eventually Alabama).

There's really no excuse for UNC still being in the game to the last play. Their secondary wasn't in the game. The top receiver and tailbacks weren't in attendance. UNC shouldn't have been in the game at all in the fourth quarter. Hell, they were down 20 points for more time in this game than they weren't! But LSU played loose and relaxed and allowed UNC to come back in the 4th. Craziness. Still, it made for a very exciting game. It also helped that both teams had some beautiful women in the stands cheering them on (remember how I said the ABC cameras were the best?).

Games I Didn't Watch But Followed:

• Cincinnati falls to Fresno State - bummer for the reigning two-time Big East champion. Another bruise on Big East football this weekend. This must be weird for Cincy's QB, Zach Collaros, because he hasn't lost at anything. Ever. This was his first loss in football. He's also undefeated at Boggle, Shoots and Ladders, and the Simpsons edition of Scene It! In summary, Cincinnati will not repeat as Big East champion. New coach, hollow o-line. They'll be good. But they're a lot more vulnerable than they were last year.
• Purdue falls to Notre Dame - the only reason I care about this is because Michigan plays them next week. Purdue isn't great, but they're ok. Denard Robinson will have to run pretty fast to compensate for a hungry Notre Dame team, anxious to overcompensate for last year's loss to Michigan. Also compensating for Charlie Weis (Captain Front Butt) (can't wait to see Charlie Weis, Mark Mangino, and Mike Leach on the CFB edition of Dancing with the Stars).
• Auburn beats Arkansas State - even though Auburn's defense allowed a lot of points, the Gene Chizik era has arrived at Auburn. They demonstrated that they deserved to be ranked this season, and I predict they'll finish ranked, too. I also suspect that this team will upset the otherwise-comfortable status quo of the SEC hierarchy (LSU and Alabama). And seriously, Gene Chizik justlooks like a badass football coach. I can imagine him lifting weights with his furled brow.
• Alabama beat whatever jobber was on their schedule - oh yeah, poor San Jose State. SJS went home with a paycheck, though. I like Nick Saban, but I'm not thinking his team is going to repeat this year. They have two phenomenal running backs on the team, but I don't know if that will cut it this year. The SEC race should be a tight one.
• Florida State beat Samford - not to be confused with Stanford. Or any other significant team. Yes, the Jimbo Fisher era has started at FSU. But I still don't think that team's going to be any good this year. Especially when they start playing FBS teams and Christian Ponder gets hurt. I could be terribly wrong here, but I don't have a lot of faith in this team. They might beat Florida, too, though. This team might be interesting to watch.
• Iowa smokes Eastern Illinois - this is only pertinent because Iowa almost got beat by Iowa State last year in their opener. Nothing to learn really from this game.
• Georgia beat Louisiana-Lafayette - the only thing good about this game was Georgia's hot fans. The SEC Network's camera wisely strayed away from the hawt Georgia fan whose side boob was gradually showing more and more every time she jumped. I'll never forgive you for that, SEC Network. In other news, I suspect that the number of fans cheering for the Ragin' Cajuns will grow because anything True Blood-related ("Lafayette") seems to be picking up steam.
• UCLA lost a close one to Kansas State - this was apparently a good game that I didn't watch.
• Oregon massacres Nevada - I was reading some commentary on this game. Apparently Oregon put in its second string 8 minutes into the second quarter and Nevada is really just that bad.
• Nebraska allowed Western Kentucky to score some points - Nebraska, you dicks. You could have shut them out, but no, when I pick your defense in college fantasy football you had to go and put in your 3rd string d-line, letting WKU to score 10 points. DANG IT.
• Washington loses to BYU - This wasn't really much of an upset, but there were a lot of people making grand predictions about Washington this season. I still think that team has the capacity to win the Pac-10, but the Pac-10 itself isn't much to write home about this year. In fact, I'd say the Pac-10 will be the 5th best conference this year, behind the MWC even (but ahead of the Big East...damn it). Jake Locker looked good. Honestly, the Huskies could have won this game, but there was some slop here and there that should be polished in time for their conference schedule.
• Oregon St. loses to TCU - F%&k! Another non-BCS school victory. I don't think I'd be as bothered by these schools if they weren't non-secular. But the thought of a victorious team whose ethos is Christians in Texas makes me think of Shelby County getting beat by the Southeast Christian Superdome football team. You want to know why America dislikes you, TCU? Is it because you have new "lizard-skin" uniforms (true story)? Is it because your coach looks like an angry lesbian (true story)? No. Its because you're a school that should be a pushover, yet you have the coolest mascot ever. A horned frog that shoots blood from its eyes. Damn it that's cool! And its wasted on a school that pisses me off at every turn.
• The SEC loses to the BIG TEN - get used to it! OK....so that's not exactly the way it went. Northwestern beats Vanderbilt. And by the transitive properties of college football, Ohio State just beat every SEC team. Another moral victory!
• Ole Miss lost to Jacksonville State in overtime - the dark gods are ready to reign back the SEC dominance. Tim Tebow has left the SEC. There have been inadequate sacrifices made in his absence. While he was in the conference there were dozens of African foreskins being sacrificed daily. Prisoners were being culled and subjected to the demigod's reign. The southern religious conservatives overlooked the fact that bible-verses were being scrawled on player's faces in black paint infused with blood and ancient herbs. The day of reckoning is nigh, SEC. Look no further than the Mountain West Conference. The ancient Mormon gods are coming to get you. Even the bloody-eyed lizard "Christians" are coming for you. Brace yourself for a dark, overcast season. Only Gene Chizik and his thunder-brow can save you.

On that note, I'm spent. I expect Boise State to beat Virginia Tech tomorrow, not because I want them to, but because I DON'T want them to, and the non-BCS schools have not been obedient this year.

Hero Status: Donald Gibb

It shall be officially recognized that Donald Gibb will be commemorated with Hero status for this blog.

I have admittedly seen a lot of movies. Some would say I've seen too many movies. They've played an immeasurably large part in my development: creatively, socially, other "-lys," etc. And everyone can remember movies they watched as kids (The Land Before Time, Walt Disney's Robin Hood, Roller Babies, Mrs. Doubtfire, Home Alone). But not everyone can remember those movies that really struck a chord with them some twenty years ago.

Ultimately, most of the movies you see as a child carry an intangible expiration date. Disney's Robin Hood was one of my favorites as a kid, but I don't think I would enjoy it nearly as much now. Movies like Ferngully, Rookie of the Year, and Ace Ventura are also perfect examples.

However, there are also those movies that are just as enjoyable, if not more so, when you watch them as an adult.

• Star Wars trilogy
• Hook
• Ghostbusters 1 & 2
• Goonies
• Roger Rabbit
• Gremlins
• Batman
• Revenge of the Nerds

This last movie is listed in bold for several reasons, but one of the most important is the inclusion of one character: OGRE, as portrayed by Donald Gibb.

Revenge of the Nerds served so many purposes for my development. One of the first movies in which I saw boobs -AND- "bush" (my primary introduction to the female anatomy). My first introduction to homosexuals and Asians (Lamar and Toshiro). And my first introduction to practical jokes and pranks.

The coming-of-age nerd-themed movie was important to me, too, because I was in every way a kid nerd. I didn't "grow out" of sweatpants until a late age (jeans were so uncomfortable). I was always the top of my class, much to the derision of my classmates. I was one of the first kids in my class to wear glasses. I didn't live in town so I couldn't walk to/from school or to/from the local swimming pool. And I had a severe interest in comic books and reading (still do).

That being said, I definitely identified with the nerds and their struggle to achieve acceptance with their peers. It is super odd, then, that I so much enjoyed the character Ogre.

(This is Ogre, burping into a microphone for the intramural burping contest)

I still can't put my finger on exactly why I reserved a soft spot in my heart for him. Maybe its because he wasn't truly a cruel character. Not like Stan Gable (as played by Ed McGinley of Dynasty, The Love Boat, and Married...With Children). Stan really pulled all the strings. Ogre just happened to be a buff guy that was easily manipulated.

And maybe that's why I have such a connection to Ogre. Despite the fact that Ogre was later introduced as a "nerd" as opposed to a "jock," maybe I'm affected by Ogre because he was a nerd that through sheer coincidence had the body and posture of a jock (much like myself). He was a strong guy, eager to please, and unfortunately he fell in with a bad crowd. I can claim the relate to the same qualities in myself.

And for whatever reason, I've picked up on Mr. Gibbs throughout my life as he bounces along his different roles. I never noticed him in Bloodsport (although ironically, this is where my best friend noticed him)

I've caught him in appearances through multiple short-lived TV series, and in weird cameos in movies (most recently in Hancock as a rehabbed con). But the place he's seemingly picked up the most traction recently, has been as a "What's In Your Wallet?" Capital One Viking.

And every time I see him, I think about calling mom and reminding her that I watched Revenge of the Nerds as a kid and how much of a "hard R" it would be today (just to tease and guilt her because, hell, she let me watch the copy she and dad recorded onto VHS from HBO, and I was WAY too young to be exposed to that movie). And I think about how I've grown as a man. And I think about how much in common I have with Ogre. Whether in terms of being undefeated in belch contests, in terms of being a buff guy in a group of unathletic dweebs, or in terms of continuing to enjoy what it is I do for shit's sake (because I assume Donald Gibbs appears in Capital One commercials for shits and giggles). I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. Its good knowin' he's out there. Donald Gibbs. Takin' it easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he keeps making commercials in swanky vacation spots.

While I was putting together this post, I found out a very interesting little tidbit about Mr. Gibbs, one that more than qualifies him for Hero Status. Apparently, Donald got into the brewing business, as co-owner of "Trader Todd's Adventure Beer." He appeared as their spokesman and was on the label of "Ogre Beer Lyte (an oxymoron). I mean, its not like he needed any relationship to a brewery to be a personal hero of mine, but damn it, it doesn't hurt at all.

I would be forever reticent to say that Revenge of the Nerds didn't play an important part of my development. With than in mind, I end this blog post with one of Donald Gibb's most important, most memorable, most influential movie quotes:

"NEEEEERRRRRRRRRDDDDSSSS!"

(THERE'S NOBODY BETTER TO BLAME FOR OGRE'S TRANSGRESSIONS THAN JOHN GOODMAN, ANOTHER HERO FOR ANOTHER POST)

Bacon Bourbon Manhattan

I made this. It was effin delicious.

BACON

Seems to be the secret ingredient in most of my recipes at the end of this summer.