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| 50 NIGHTS OF HORROR CHALLENGE: WEEKS 5 & 6 |
In one of the most ironic twists of recent memory, my horror watching has been interrupted by big expressions of love and romance. Two weddings, trips to visit my dearest friends...it's been very difficult to carve aside time to wallow in the despair and shrieks that the season dictates.
Two Evil Eyes (1990)
Format: DVD
Genre: Anthology (revenge, ghosts, zombies, etc.)
The premise here is that two of the genre's best directors, Dario Argento and George Romero, would team up to direct two Edgar Allen Poe mini-movies and release them within the confines of one movie. I read a bit about the production of the film, and originally John Carpenter and Wes Craven were going to contribute two additional stories, too. That would really have made this movie better, because each of the contributions seems a little too long and drawn out.
Critics appear to be split on which of the two tales is the stronger: Argento's oddball story which is more of a scrambled mix of Poe stories, or Romero's strait-forward ghost/zombie/revenge tale (the one that appealed more to me). I can't claim to be much of a Poe enthusiast, but based on the old Roger Corman movies I've seen and the few short stories I've read, both directors handled their source material and/or inspiration well enough. Argento's story, though, suffers from trying to be too smart and wink too many times at Poe references. There are unnecessary scenes, illogical character developments, and a very crooked plot. Romero's tale seemed like it could have been fifteen to twenty minutes shorter and still achieved the same narrative. While Argento's jigsaw puzzle homage was pretty neat to look at (Harvey Keitel is a bawse, there's excellent gore, and also a Tom Savini cameo), it isn't easy to follow. Romero's is easy to follow, and Adrienne Barbeau is a total babe, and the tale itself is eery, but the execution is flawed and a little too drawn out.
I don't think is one that I'll watch again. Not unless I develop some EAPoe fascination down the road.
Deadly Spawn (1983)
Format: DVD
Genre: Creature Feature, Aliens
VERY NICE! I've had this movie pop up on Amazon.com as a recommended purchase time and time again. I pulled the trigger to watch this via Netflix, and I was not disappointed at all. In fact, this will be one of the best finds from this year's challenge. The Deadly Spawn is a low-budget monster movie with loads of fun scares and gore and an ending that was very satisfying.
Despite the low budget and the kind of silly premise (an alien monster crashes into earth and survives by eating stupid people in a family's basement), this is still a little gem of a monster movie, and you have to admire the effort that was put in to this thing. The characters are likable, and the ones that aren't die pretty gruesome, satisfying deaths. Even though our cast consists of a group of college-aged kids, the real hero is the pre-teen little brother that loves classic monster movies (clutch). The concept seems fresh, even though you've seen it a dozen times already. Highly recommended.
Student Bodies (1981)
Format: DVD
Genre: Horror Comedy
When you look at comedies from the 70s and 80s, you can sense how our sense of humor has changed over the years. Some comedies retain their humor, and others seem almost to dated and kind of stale. I love Porky's, but Animal House is far superior. Student Bodies is a horror comedy, and one that's much better than Scary Movie, but the jokes still fall flat. There is no gore at all, and there is no nudity. In fact, one of the movie's funniest jokes (there are actually some funny jokes here) comes when the movie stops and cuts to an omniscient narrator (similar to the Rocky Horror Picture Show). The narrator explains that in order to achieve an R rating they needed some expletives. That narrator proceeds to say, "so...FUCK. YOU." Pretty funny.
There are a handful of other gags that made me smirk, but all in all, this one is pretty forgettable.
Shivers/They Came From Within (1975)
Format: Borrowed
Genre: Psychological Terror, Pandemic
Whoah. Apparently, it's very difficult to find a good quality copy of this movie on DVD, so I had to watch this online. The quality was pretty bad, but the movie itself is very strong. A very strong, very effective, very early horror movie from David Cronenberg. It's sexy and gruesome (and sometimes even funny), and the implications from the ending are very big. Imagine that this is Dawn of the Dead mixed with Invasion of the Body Snatchers shown on 1970's Times Square hardcore porn theaters.
Cronenberg litters Shivers with some excellent special effects, some neat gags, and some really unsettling themes. That being said, there's nothing here that jumps out or makes you bolt upright. This is a slow burn of a movie, and Cronenberg expertly hooks you and makes the viewer feel guilty for participating in the story. In The Brood (reviewed a couple weeks ago), we start the movie feeling like peeping toms for watching one delicate man's confession to another man that we believe to be his father. There's an immediate sense of discomfort established. In Shivers, one of the first scenes is that of an attractive, nude woman trying to escape from an older man that we believe to be a maniac. The maniac catches the woman and then we're treated to some gore. But, as in The Brood, things are not as they seem, though the discomfort levels are the same.
I don't want to be the one to spoil the rest of the story of Shivers/They Came From Within. I read online that the reaction to this movie was so strong that Cronenberg's career was almost derailed (which would have been tragic). One great quote from a movie reviewer goes as such: "crammed with blood, violence, and depraved sex...[it was] the most repulsive movie I've ever seen." And Cronenberg was just getting started. It's not really that bad. I don't even think you have to be a Cronenberg fanatic to enjoy it.
Midnight Matinee (1989)
Format: Netflix Streaming
Genre: Serial Killer
Garbage. I guess this was originally a TV movie. Somehow it found its way onto Netflix where I happened to come across it. I expected 80s gore and suspense, but instead it played out more like an episode of Murder She Wrote. I couldn't make it to the end of this one and turned it off half way through. Major bummer.
Slaughter High (1986)
Format: DVD
Genre: Serial Killer
YES YES YES. This is exactly the kind of movie I wanted to see during the challenge. A masked serial killer (that may or may not be the nerdy genius that the popular kids scorned) mowing through the older, popular kids in gruesome ways. The kills are gross and fun, and everything else about the movie screams satisfying 80's horror. Think of Terror Train or Prom Night or The House on Sorority Row and crank the fun levels up to 11. I had been looking for a copy of this one and then came to realize that I already owned it on one of those 2-DVD/8-movie collections that they sell in bins at Target or Wal-Mart. This was an excellent find, and one that I can't wait to share with my friends some day.
Beautiful girls, assholes get what's coming to them, gruesome endings, and an element of mystery that we don't get often enough. I would pair this with The House on Sorority Row for a double viewing, and I think that would make for an awesome evening. This one ranks very high on the list for the challenge so far, too.
The Fury (1978)
Format: VHS
Genre: Super Brain Abilities
I'm just going to combine my review of The Fury with Firestarter, because these movies are both very similar.
Format: VHS
Genre: Super brain abilities, Scary Children
OK. So The Fury and Firestarter share many similar themes. First, we have adolescents with telepathy and telekinesis. If you're not familiar with these supernatural abilities, think of Jean Grey from the X-Men comics. In fact, that's really what we're dealing with here in either movie. Mutants and governments attempting to control and weaponize them. These movies are both X-Men 2, and both star Jean Grey in some sense.
The Fury has an edge of military action movie to it, and Kirk Douglas is the badass father of a mutant that is trying to reclaim his son from a secret military compound. There's a lot of action here, and that saves the otherwise slow film a bit. That, and the fact that Amy Irving is beautiful and appears just as innocent as she did in Carrie. The ending to this movie is a bit quirky, but there's a sense of resolution to it. And some much needed gore.
Firestarter features young, innocent Drew Barrymore in place of Amy Irving. Instead of Kirk Douglas trying to rescue his child from the military, we have David Keith trying to hide his child (Barrymore) from the military. And in addition to precognition, telekinesis, and telepathy Barrymore also has the ability to...start fires. There are a lot of cutesy gags tossed in (baby Barrymore chugs a Pepsi and belches...so cute), and there's also a lot of ham-handed action scenes. To get a sense of what I'm talking about, know that the director of Firestarter also directed the Arnold Schwarzenneger vehicle Commando. Remember the scenes of guerilla soldiers flying and jumping through the air when they're being shot at or exploded? Those same scenes are recycled here, though in a cooler matter. Instead of Arnold rocket launching them, baby Barrymore is pushing and pulling and exploding them WITH HER MIND!!!
Neither film was really scary. I'd wanted to see both movies for a long time, but copies of the DVD are either expensive or take a long time to receive from Netflix (both are listed as "long wait"). So I spent $6 and bought both on VHS through Amazon. Now I have both movies in my collection without a strong desire to see either of them ever again. Oh well.
Misery (1990)
Format: DVD
Genre: Psychological Terror
Like Fatal Attraction, this movie scared me because of how realistic it could be. There was nothing supernatural afoot in this one; just a creepy-as-hell Kathy Bates taking advantage of an injured Jimmy Caan. Like some of the best horror movies, this one gets by without much gore (there is....one...scene...), and it really finds its way into your backbone and jolts you. The premise of the movie and the scene I'm talking about have been copied and lampooned in pop culture and in one particularly spoiling Dish Network commercial, but it's still a solid watch.
I had never seen this one before, and I'm on something of a Stephen King kick. Kelley made fun of me for never having seen it. "Hell," she said, "I've even read the book." She has a pretty scary story about the weekend she read it. Something to do with a freak storm on a beach and construction equipment tearing through a building. But that's another story for another blog.
One neat aside about the movie: there's one scene where Kathy Bates is reading some pages from the new book Caan is writing. I paused it randomly to talk to Kelley, and the paper shown on screen was a review from a Rob Reiner movie (it talked about Cameron Crowe's scriptwriting) instead of any fiction that Caan's character would have been writing. Just a neat little Easter Egg. That is all.
The Shining (1980)
Format: DVD
Genre: Psychological Terror, Ghosts
Everybody should have seen this movie by now, or at least have some passing knowledge of what it's about. So instead of writing a review, I'll tell you a story about what happened when I watched this movie for the Horror Challenge.
Kelley and I had just wrapped up Misery, and I wasn't tired enough to go to sleep yet. Kelley was, so she was in and out of consciousness, falling asleep while I watched the film. About thirty minutes into the movie, I remembered that this is a great movie to watch with a strong drink and a bowl of popcorn. So I paused the movie, made my snack and drink, and sat back down to watch. I remember Scatman Crothers shining in his Florida bedroom, and that's about where everything goes blank.
Kelley woke up sometime after midnight and says that I woke her up by moving around in the living room. She'd been asleep on the couch, and when I startled her, she asked what I was doing.
"I fell asleep, so I'm restarting the movie from where I think I left off.""No big deal," she though. And she fell back asleep watching me fast forward. Her next memory was several hours later. She was woken up by the spooky sounds of the The Shining's disc menu playing on repeat. The lights were on in the living room. The TV was on. And I was standing up in the middle of the room doing nothing.
"What are you doing," she asked.
"The movie was made in 1970. The movie was made in 1970.""What are you talking about?" At this point she was very confused.
"The movie was made in 1970, and that's all you need to know!"I think the movie shined me. I argued with her and was generally nasty to her. I think I did everything short of telling her to shut up. She claims that I also yelled at her about my work. And I hollered because she wasn't putting enough effort into Halloween. This was on October 15th. I also fought with her about the dog peeing in the bed.
I don't remember any of this. I did wake up the next morning feeling extremely guilty. I couldn't put my finger on why I felt this guilt, but it was there. We talked about it the next night, and she can't explain why I behaved this way, either.
I think there's only one explanation. I own a haunted copy of The Shining. It shined me.
It had been at least five years since I had watched my copy of the movie. I'll never forget sitting in the living room of my old, shitty apartment with Mike (one of my best friends). At the time, we were going through many horror movies, and on this particular night I had made bourbon and cokes, and I had popped a bag of popcorn. On this night, Mike fell asleep on the couch as I watched on.
Around the time Scatman Crothers is in the snow truck on his way to the hotel, Mike scared the crap out of me by waking up and saying, "this dude's about the get f---ked up!" He nibbled at some popcorn and then he fell right back to sleep. The next morning he had no recollection of that comment.
I told the story at the wedding this past weekend, and I explained that my copy was cursed. Someone made the comment that more than just two people should watch my copy at the same time to see what happens. The implications of that scenario are too scary for me to ever go through with it.
To the Devil a Daughter (1976)
Format: DVD
Genre: Satanism, Exorcism
This is a Hammer film, and it features a very creepy Christopher Lee. Based on a book, I think To The Devil A Daughter held a lot of promise, but somehow it missed the target. There's a lot that could be done with this movie, and it did achieve a couple scares. The ending is garbage, though (apparently funding ran out, and the movie was rushed to theaters before it was really ready), and it amplifies any shortcomings the movie was already dealing with. I think one of the biggest problems of the movie is the slow, sloooow pacing. When this movie came out, there were lots of other devil and possession and exorcism movies coming out. This could have stood out among all of them, but it really doesn't. It's a darn shame.
Wicker Man (1973)
Format: DVD
Genre: Mystery, Occult
When I watched the opening ceremonies to the London Olympics a couple years ago, I remember seeing lots of British movies being referenced and reenacted. And I remember one scene and thinking "WHAT THE F--K IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?!" Well, it was a reference to The Wicker Man, and it all makes perfect sense now. This is another British horror movie featuring Christopher Lee. Unlike TTDAD, this one is awesome.
Babes? Check. Gore? Umm...not really. Overwhelming sense of dread? Yup. Off-kilter, disorienting storyline? Yes!
The premise here is really neat. It's more of a mystery movie at its core, but there are elements flittering out on the fringe of this movie that keep it evenly creepy and odd. I was very taken in by the music of the film, and I'm sure others have written better reviews of it, so I'll save our time. If you haven't seen it, do so. It's not a slasher or a gorefest. It's a smart horror movie, and I'm a better fan of the genre for having seen it.
Inside (2007)
Format: Borrowed
Genre: French, Extreme Horror
I completely understand where some people would walk away from a movie like this very satisfied. I, on the other hand, would not have watched it if I had known what I was getting myself into. That's not to say that I can't appreciate it. I just don't enjoy modern extreme horror. The gore is handled well. The premise is terrifying enough. Inside was just too bleak and gruesome for me to enjoy.
Fright Night (1985)
Format: DVD/VHS
Genre: Vampires
One of the all-time greatest Halloween movies, and probably one of the best vampire movies ever made. I love this movie, and I have for a long time. It's better than the remake, though the remake isn't terrible. It's extremely superior to its sequel, but that shouldn't come as much of a surprise. All of the elements here, and I mean every actor, every plot element, all of it works extremely well. One of my absolute favorite horror movies.
The Body Snatchers (1993)
Format: Cinemax On Demand
Genre: Aliens
"Where are you going to go? Where are you going to run? Where are you going to hide? Nowhere. Because there's no one like you left."
Apparently there's a mandate in Hollywood that says no more than 20 years can go by between remakes of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm ok with that, because this is one of the scariest themes out there. The implications of pod people replacing everyone, the thought of being an outcast (for better or for worse), the threat of being alone...all of these are legitimately scary themes, with or without aliens.
That being said, throughout all of these remakes, the themes remain constant. The narrative here, though, is very different. Instead of taking place in a large city, this movie takes place on a military base. And instead of a group of disparate people coming together to stay awake, this version revolves around the conflict of one family trying to stand against the alien menace. I think the city is a scarier setting, but the family is a scarier group of people. It's one thing to imagine strangers coming into conflict with each other, but imagine having to wonder if your parent or sibling or child had "been turned," and the implications that would come with that.
It should be noted that the poster for this movie appeared on several comic books that I collected as a ten year old, and the imagery on that poster scared the bejeezus out of me.
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