GOBBLE GOBBLE - Wrinklecarver

Django Django WOR

A Perfect Portrait of New York City In Three Minutes

NYC - Mindrelic Timelapse from Mindrelic on Vimeo.

A Baby Girl

Holy crap. Matt and Danielle are having a girl. "Freaked out." I think that's a good way of describing it. I was freaked out when I heard they were having a boy two years ago. Maybe "freaked out" isn't the right term now. For the past six years (at least) I've considered Danielle the consummate wife/mother. From the time we had that serious discussion in her car that she was going to marry my friend Matt, Danielle got put into a completely different box. After that stomach-flipping discussion I started to see things about Danielle that I hadn't noticed before. Namely I took note of this wife/mother/person. She transcended her "Matt's girlfriend" box.

So when they were getting married, I was excited. Initially freaked out, but excited. When they announced that there was a baby on the way I felt the same way. Essentially, I don't think there's anything Danielle cannot handle. I imagine her taking on all challengers. And a baby boy seemed like a natural fit for both Matt and Danielle.

To be perfectly honest, everything has seemed like a perfect fit for those two. They compliment each other so extremely well. Marriage? Great fit. They were ready for it. First house? No problem. They' nesting and making a picture-perfect home. Child? Harrison couldn't be a better reflection of who those two are.

But now a daughter.

Its my own fault for growing up vicariously through the antics of the Wades. Without doubt, they're two of my best friends, but they've always been in a different orbit, an orbit of my own design that separates me from their grown-up life. So its not my place at all to be anxious about raising a young girl. After all, its not my girl then, is it? But...holy crap. A girl. A baby girl that will turn into a teenage girl. Good gracious.

I have heard stories about my father getting a case of SUPER-anxiety when mom went into labor with me. I suppose its natural for fathers. I mean, its not as if us men don't have nine months to prepare ourselves, but Jesus, what a gut check! And if having a kid wouldn't be enough of a gut-check for me, the thought of caring for and nurturing a girl....A GIRL?!

So I freaked out. I freaked out on behalf of Matt and Danielle. Someone has to do it. They're not going to. They're going to be preoccupied with the actual real life, responsible part of it. So I will continue to monitor and observe from my other orbit. And I'll freak out on their behalf. I'll grow up vicariously through them. They can witness my agitation and anxiety, experiencing it vicariously through me.

The Most NSFW Music Videos of 2010

I'm stealing this post from Stereogum, mostly because I'm really fond of these songs. Its just coincidence that they feature nudity. And nudity never hurt a blog. Stereogum has a longer list of videos, but those songs that I excluded I just didn't like. I can't say I particularly enjoy the HEALTH song, either, but I include it because Mike had sent it out last summer in an e-mail, and we all marveled at how disturbing it was.

Leather Hands – “Vertical Lines” (Dir. Miles Flanagan)


Big Freedia – “Azz Everywhere” (Dir. Jordan Kinley)


El Guincho – “Bombay” (Dir. Nicolás Méndez-CANADA)

EL GUINCHO | Bombay from MGdM | Marc Gómez del Moral on Vimeo.

UNKLE – “Follow Me Down” (Dir. Warren du Preez and Nick Thornton Jones)


Grinderman – “Heathen Child” (Dir. John Hillcoat)

Grinderman 'Heathen Child' from Trim Editing on Vimeo.

HEALTH – “We Are Water” (Dir. Eric Wareheim)


Die Antwoord – “Evil Boy” (Dir. Rob Malpage)


Klaxons – “Twin Flames” (Dir. Saam Farahmand)

Klaxons - Twin Flames NSFW from BlindPig on Vimeo.

New Music

Alcoholic Faith Mission - My Eyes To See from Guy Manly Movies on Vimeo.

Holiday Wrap-Up

Monday, December 20th

When we first walked into Sergio's, someone made the comment about how back room looked like an abandoned Chinese restaurant. As we walked past through towards the front, I quipped that the room came complete with a creepy dude giggling to himself. The creepy dude turned out to be our waiter/server/hair collector. He was seriously just sitting in a booth by himself giggling and rocking back and forth.

Throughout the night he never really left us, even though we explained on multiple occasions that we didn't need another beer quite yet, and no, thank you, none of us were going to order any more food. He kept pestering us, looking wild-eyed, like a spider that just simultaneously caught a dozen flies and doesn't know where to start.

I'm curious now if Sergio didn't uncover him in the basement of that establishment when he bought it last year. Or he could be like the house elf from Harry Potter, just enormous and off-kilter.

He was the kind of guy that breaks into people's homes, takes pictures of them sleeping, and adds those photos to his collection.

Someone else made the observation that he would have looked more natural if he had little stumpy malformed hands like the butler from Scary Movie 2.

I can't imagine him driving a car. Maybe a Big Wheel.

He was like Dwight Schrute's brother.

Thursday, December 30th

So all day today my stomach was really hurting me. I don't know how Dave's guts are feeling, but I have ached. For lunch I had a bad burger from The Pub at Fourth Street, and that made it hurt more. When I got home, I drank a lot of water. Didn't help. Made a bourbon and coke. Didn't help. Made some Chinese food with fried rice with dad. Didn't help. Then an idea hit me.

I'd read about this before but had never attempted it. I poured a beer and whipped a raw egg into it. Chugged it fast. Only one chunky spot. Very frothy and filling. I felt instantly better. Made a second one and felt like I went from 20% to 90%. New miracle cure. Bank it.

Saturday, January 1st

I survived the evening. I stayed in bed until about 1:45 just talking and cuddling and doing all kinds of things that are otherwise gross to bachelors or anyone disinterested in cute things. My head was very, very tender. I think that the small amount of champagne and red wine caused this. It definitely couldn't have been the Sam Adams, Elijah Craig, or Jager shots. I drank a lot of Jager and bourbon.

I also danced a lot. One of Kelley's friends got drunk and had a really fun time running from one end of the dance floor, jumping, and having me catch her. At one point I was trying to get her to run into her husband's arms instead of mine. I wasn't paying attention, and as she jumped on me I tried to catch and ended up on the floor, her on top of me. Not one to let anyone think I am weak, I picked her up in my arms looking something like a drunk Frankenstein carrying an unconscious bride. As I lifted her and carried her to her husband Kelley came over to me laughing. I told her, "I think I ripped my pants." She was quick to point out that I had a hole right in my crotch. Fortunately this was at the tail end of the night, and I was drunk enough to not really care.

At another point I got touchy-feely drunk, and I don't remember it, but apparently I was trying to lift her dress up to pinch her butt. That kind of embarrasses me. Otherwise I think I did well throughout the evening.

I've been drinking since I got home, a beer here, a Southern Comfort cocktail there. I fear that if I stop the sickness might creep up on me. So with the exception of a headache, I woke up without a hangover. Still a little bit drunk. I haven't showered. There's probably a bit more Frankenstein look to me than I realize. Stinky and haggard.

Wednesday, January 5

I am safe and sound back in NJ. I got in last night at about 8:30. Yesterday my alarm clock didn't go off (Blackberry had a problem like the iPhone?), so I left later than I'd wanted. That being said, I only had to stop for gas once, I kept the car on cruise control for most of the day, and I only got stopped in traffic in f'n Pennsylvania where driving instructors apparently don't bother teaching anyone that if you're in the left lane, you had better be going faster than the cars in the right lane. Nothing pisses me off on these trips worse than slow cars in the passing lane, and I run into a ridiculous amount of them in PA.

I got home, unpacked, warmed up some food, and was ready to call it a night early. Then I got started on some work. Then around midnight I started dicking around with my PS3. Then I saw I had The Social Network loaded on there, so I started it thinking I would only watching about 15 minutes worth of it to see what it was like. At 2:45 a.m. I finished the movie and realized I couldn't have turned it off any earlier. I watched the entire movie. And it was awesome.

Its kind of nice being back home in my apartment. But I already want to be back in Louisville. I'm going to kick ass at work the next 3 months, then I start the "Promote Paul" Campaign. That campaign should take an additional 3-6 months, and then I hope to be promoted somewhere else. I'd really like to get to Chicago, St. Louis, or somewhere on this side of the Mississippi River. I had thought about moving somewhere out west, but then Kelley raised a really good point. I wouldn't be able to drive home whenever I wanted, and flights are about twice to thrice as much. And I don't want to pay out the nose to see you all over some random 3-day holiday that I stretch into two weeks. So I'm thinking I'd stay in the Midwest-East Coast areas. I just looked it up, and the drive from New Orleans to Louisville is much shorter than the drive from NYC to Louisville, so maybe I'll look in that direction...

Top Ten Lists

Movies

10. The A-Team

9. Despicable Me

8. Iron Man 2

7. Chloe

6. Kick-Ass

5. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

4. Machete

3. Predators

2. Inception

1. Piranha 3D

Music

10. The Eels - Tomorrow Morning

9. Kid Cudi - Man on the Moon 2

8. Ratatat - LP4

7. Carolina Chocolate Drops - Genuine Negro Jig

6. Glitchmob - Drink the Sea

5. Mux Mool - Skulltaste

4. Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

3. Yeasayer - Odd Blood

2. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

1. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes - Up From Below

Villains of 2010

10. Mel Gibson

9. Will.I.Am

8. Jersey Shore Cast

7. Kim Jong Un

6. Russell Edgington - True Blood

5. Glenn Beck

4. John Calipari

3. Sarah Palin

2. Kim Jong Il

1. [name redacted]

Ghostbusters Redux

I found these trailers on YouTube. They're pretty dope. They also fuel my fire to write a third Ghostbusters movie set in post-9/11 NYC. It would be pretty heavy and would fit in Ghostbusters continuity as well as the 2008 video game.