A Baby Girl

Holy crap. Matt and Danielle are having a girl. "Freaked out." I think that's a good way of describing it. I was freaked out when I heard they were having a boy two years ago. Maybe "freaked out" isn't the right term now. For the past six years (at least) I've considered Danielle the consummate wife/mother. From the time we had that serious discussion in her car that she was going to marry my friend Matt, Danielle got put into a completely different box. After that stomach-flipping discussion I started to see things about Danielle that I hadn't noticed before. Namely I took note of this wife/mother/person. She transcended her "Matt's girlfriend" box.

So when they were getting married, I was excited. Initially freaked out, but excited. When they announced that there was a baby on the way I felt the same way. Essentially, I don't think there's anything Danielle cannot handle. I imagine her taking on all challengers. And a baby boy seemed like a natural fit for both Matt and Danielle.

To be perfectly honest, everything has seemed like a perfect fit for those two. They compliment each other so extremely well. Marriage? Great fit. They were ready for it. First house? No problem. They' nesting and making a picture-perfect home. Child? Harrison couldn't be a better reflection of who those two are.

But now a daughter.

Its my own fault for growing up vicariously through the antics of the Wades. Without doubt, they're two of my best friends, but they've always been in a different orbit, an orbit of my own design that separates me from their grown-up life. So its not my place at all to be anxious about raising a young girl. After all, its not my girl then, is it? But...holy crap. A girl. A baby girl that will turn into a teenage girl. Good gracious.

I have heard stories about my father getting a case of SUPER-anxiety when mom went into labor with me. I suppose its natural for fathers. I mean, its not as if us men don't have nine months to prepare ourselves, but Jesus, what a gut check! And if having a kid wouldn't be enough of a gut-check for me, the thought of caring for and nurturing a girl....A GIRL?!

So I freaked out. I freaked out on behalf of Matt and Danielle. Someone has to do it. They're not going to. They're going to be preoccupied with the actual real life, responsible part of it. So I will continue to monitor and observe from my other orbit. And I'll freak out on their behalf. I'll grow up vicariously through them. They can witness my agitation and anxiety, experiencing it vicariously through me.