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| 50 NIGHTS OF HORROR CHALLENGE: WEEK 1 |
A Hatchet for the Honeymoon (1970)
Genre: Psycho Slasher
Format: Netflix Streaming
"YOU LIKE HORROR FILMS, DO YOU?"
The oddest thing about A Hatchet for the Honeymoon is that nobody ever really takes a honeymoon during the course of the movie. And maybe it's one of those quirky British-American gap words that doesn't translate well from one country to the next, but I don't remember a hatchet in the movie at all. Unless the words "cleaver" and "hatchet" are interchangeable, there's been a mistake in the movie titling process.
Bay of Blood (1971)
Genre: Slasher
Format: Netflix Streaming
Despite the awesome movie poster I saw for this movie, it didn't leave any real great impressions on me. There was ample nudity and some Italian-style giallo violence. But nothing extremely great here. Imagine a soap opera with graphic murders instead of slow poisonings. I can say that I got very excited when I realized I had seen most of these murder scenes before...they were lifted almost shot-for-shot in Friday the 13th Part II. Other than that, I thought this movie was pretty unremarkable.
Scream (1996)
Genre: Slasher
Format: VHS
There are very few horror movies that bring me as much personal satisfaction as Scream does. I'll never forget watching this with my best friend in my parents' basement late at night. I can't remember how we convinced my mom to rent this for us or how Ben convinced me to watch it. At the time, I avoided horror movies and preferred much lighter fare. But there we were, scared to death, laying on broken-in couches in the dark, Ben - too scared to keep digging into the bowl of popcorn, me with the stereo remote control turning the sound up and down according to how scared we were.
And this is one of those movies that tipped the scale for me. Before too long, I was absorbing as many classic slashers as Blockbuster or Movie Warehouse stocked. The next Christmas I received a glut of horror tapes from my dad, and I would watch them in my room late into the night. When I saw Scream for sale at the flea market, mom bought it for me, and that night I watched the only scary movie with my mom that we've ever seen together. Somewhere along the way, I picked up my own Scream replica mask. I would convince my sisters to watch the movie with me, and while they were too paralyzed to notice, I would sneak off, put on the mask, and proceed to jump out of closets or from behind couches. When they had friends over, my sisters and their friends would borrow the movie to watch, and I'd jump out and scare everyone all over again (much to the delight of my sisters).
At the time, I loved the references to other movies. I still love them. The last time I rewatched the movie, I scribbled down all of the name of slashers that Randy jabbered off, and I've purchased or watched most of them since then. It's a great nod to the genre, and probably the best horror movie to come out for my generation. This is the TRL generation's horror film. I love this movie.
Scream 2 (1997)
Genre: Slasher
Format: Netflix Streaming
The success of the first Scream generated a swell in sloppy knockoffs. I Know What You Did Last Summer, Urban Legend, the later Halloween sequels (H20, Halloween: Resurrection), and a lot of other garbage. Scream 2 almost suffers a similar fate, but it managers to dance on that line and fall down on the side of a good horror film. The murdered cast members from the first movie are replaced by the very capable Jerry O'Connell, Timothy Olyphant (!), Rebecca Gayheart, Portia De Rossi, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. My favorite addition to the cast, and my favorite secondary plotline in the movie, is Liev Schreiber's reintroduction as Cotton Weary. Schreiber plays the coolest foil in the movie.
The weakest parts of the movie? An obnoxious Omar Epps and Jada Pinkett. Randy and Dewey don't provide the necessary humor they brought in the first film. It's more an intrusion than a necessary break in the terror they brought in the first film. The movie would have been weaker without them, because it's nice to see carryover characters in any franchise. It certainly got more distracting in the later sequels.
My favorite memory about this movie was going to see it on a double date before a Fall dance. I didn't know my date all that well, and the romance never really got going between us. Going on a double date to my first scary movie in a theater ever probably didn't help much. That being said, I was wearing my new Starter Jacket (What up 1997?!), and I was so scared and uncomfortable during the movie that I kept my hands crossed or in my pockets the entire movie. When the movie was finally over, I was shook and my hands were soaking wet. I was sick with fear. It was great.
Scream 3 (2000)
Genre: Slasher
Format: Netflix Streaming
"ANYONE CAN DIE"
Things have gotten a little out of hand for the Scream franchise at this point. Even though this horror franchise is the one my generation grew up with and watched with each other as teenagers, this one feels the least realistic and most out of control of the four. Sid develops the one-off ability to have some sort of psychic dreams. The killer(s)(?) is/are way more advanced than they had been in earlier movies (remote explosion killings, leaving clues, etc.). More than anything, this jumps out of the fun whodunit formula of the first two movies and heaps on a heavy-handed amount of LOOK AT HOW META WE ARE (all caps and everything). On top of that, Neve Campbell doesn't show up in any significant role until the second half of the movie. Like the Nightmare on Elm Street series, the movie just advances at a much better pace without the lead actress being in danger. Dewey and Gail do not the sympathetic victims make. I preferred the idea of high school teenagers escaping from a killer. In Scream 2, college age young adults fleeing a killer is still ok. But in Scream 3, everyone's an adult, and they really should know better at this point.
"THE PAST WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS"
The METAness of this mess is smoothed over by the great cast. Where Scream 2 essentially recycled the same cast as the first installment, this one introduces some great additions to the survivors of the first two films: Parker Posey, Emily Mortimer, McDreamy (he kind of sucks here), Scott Foley
And some neat cameos, too: Roger Corman, Lance Henrickssen, Carrie Fisher, Patrick Warburton, and Jay & Silent Bob (wtf).
In an extremely unnecessary cameo, Randy makes a video from the afterlife and interacts with the gang to help them deal with life within a horror movie.
I'd say that the most incredible thing about this movie is that Wes Craven agreed to come back to direct it. The plot is messier than any other entry in the series, and the scares aren't typical Craven. I read that the events of the Columbine School Shooting affected how Scream 3 played out ,and I suppose you can see that. The gore isn't here. The violence is missing. It's "goofy" level have been cranked up to eleven. That's not to say it's a bad movie, but it certainly doesn't carry the water of the the other three films. The ending, twist and all, makes for a nice cap to the trilogy.
Watching it, I remember the first time I saw the movie. It wasn't in theaters. Instead it was at a friend's house in the early afternoon. I wanted to be playing N64, not watching a tired horror franchise, so my memory of this film wasn't exactly positive. This second time around, I found myself much more entertained. That being said, another memory that got refreshed was the single from the Scream 3 soundtrack that gets played during the movie. It's Creed. And at one point you see a Creed poster hanging on a wall. That's kind of...that's kind of a bummer, right?
The 'Burbs (1989)
Genre: Horror Comedy
Format: VHS
This movie is so Joe Dante, and, accordingly, so awesomely funny and creepy and 80s. This was also the first movie I can remember really coming to enjoy Tom Hanks. The Burbs was a regular video rental for me at the Findlay Public Library, and it was that much satisfying for me to revisit this gem in the VHS format. The scares are legit. The undertones of horror and paranoia seep in everywhere. This is a very good movie. This is also the movie that The Watch tried a little too hard to be. If you're a fan of Beetlejuice, Ghostbusters, or Nothing But Trouble (you're probably not a fan of Nothing But Trouble), you're doing yourself a disservice if you haven't put The 'Burbs into your regular rotation.
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| Calm the hell down, Dirty D-lo! |
As a kid, The 'Burbs made me laugh and also jump and pull the cover over my eyes. As an adult, I didn't jump quite as much, but I still enjoyed the hell out of the thing. Also, this:
Scream 4 (2011)
Genre: Slasher
Format: Blu ray
I regret to say that this is a Scream movie that I did not see in the movie theater. One of my good friends was upset with me. "Paul, even if you're not that interested, you have to go support our generation's horror franchise." He was right, but I still missed it. Selfishly, I watched it by myself in my apartment. That being said, I selfishly loved almost every minute of it.
And then I rewatched it for this newest challenge, this time with my fiancee. The firs thing that caught our attention? Courtney Cox is not aging well. Aside from Neve Campbell's hair, nothing about her looked significantly older. In fact, nobody else really looked like they had changed at all. Even the characters introduced to replace Stu and Randy seem appropriate and in the right place. The same can not be said for Courtney Cox's cheekbones or lips. I'll do my best to avoid the Cox-hate (COUGARTOWN IS NOT FUNNY IT IS GARBAGE - ok, that's it), and get on with the movie report.
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| Scream 4's new blood |
It made for a refreshing entry, one superior to Screams 2 and 3. I had to explain the movie's opening to my fiancee, because it wasn't just META. It was MEmemetataTA, meta inside meta amplified by meta, to the point of absurdity, and I prefer to think that this is how Wes Craven washed his hands of Scream 3.
My only non-Cox complaint for the movie was the inclusion of Mary McDonnell as Sidney's aunt. Her participation was minimal and distracting and really not deserving of McDonnell's time or talents. Had her role been bigger, this would be a different story. As it was, though, it did not advance the plot or the characters. And I've had a soft spot for her since Dances With Wolves. (If you haven't seen Dances With Wolves, imagine The Last Samurai with American Indians instead of the Japanese) (If you haven't seen The Last Samurai, imagine Avatar with Japanese instead of giant blue aliens).
One more note: I dislike the ending of the movie, but I can appreciate it for the sake of the franchise. Also, Adam Brody, dude, who did you piss off?
Don't Look Now (1973)
Genre: Ghost Story
Format: Netflix Streaming
I've enjoyed Donald Sutherland for a good, long time. This movie is no exception. It is a little too artsy fartsy for me during this challenge, but that's not to say that it wasn't a good, creepy movie. I can still appreciate the slow-burning mystery/thriller aspect of the film, and I can safely say that there is at least a tiny bit of blood, gore, corpse, and an old blind woman rubbing her boobs. At one point I thought I had this movie figured out. I had tied up all the loose ends, I prematurely untangled what I thought was the twist, and I proudly sat back to see my theory prove to be right.
I was wrong.
There is a sex scene in the movie that I read about several years ago. According to the article I read, it was one of the most provocative, controversial, realistic depictions of fornication ever released as part of a motion picture (non-porn). Granted, I think I saw Donald Sutherland do the type of thing that gives Michael Douglas cancer, and there were definitely Julie Christie breasts, I don't think it was quite as upsetting as other portrayals I've seen recently on FX or AMC.
Deathdream (a/k/a/ Dead of Night) (1974)
Genre: Monkey Paw
Format: DVD
The genre I assigned to this movie is "Monkey Paw." If you've never heard of that theme, read a summary here. The general idea is that bad things happen when you interfere with fate. Deathdream is the Monkey's Paw story filtered through PTSD and the cultural guilt associated with America's involvement in Vietnam.
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| A guy that wears floral printeshirts and chokes dogs can't be all bad. |
Significant note: this movie was directed by Bob Clark and written by Alan Ormsby. Clark had previously directed a movie I wrote about last year (Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things) and would go on to direct Black Christmas, Porky's, A Christmas Story, and Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2. Bob Clark has a pretty screwed up filmography. Alan Ormsby wrote and starred in CSPWDT, and would go on to direct Deranged (which I'll write up later in the challenge) and write Cat People, Porky's II, and The Substitute. Ormsby's filmography looks to be considerably more linear.
The Brood (1979)
Genre: Creature Feature/Slasher
Format: DVD
Whoah! This movie was pretty badass. I haven't ever been a huge fan of David Cronenberg, but I have to say that recently I've watched a handful, and I've been very surprised. In this movie, there was a very slow burning "BLARGH!" moment accompanied by an even grosser, though subtler "blargh" moment later in the same scene. I don't give into shockers often, but this one had me covering my mouth out of guilty, satisfying disgust.From the very start of the movie, you know this is going to be something different. Proximo from Gladiator is sitting in a dark room with some dirty, hairy hippy. It appears that the movie is a cold open to a very intimate discussion between a verbally-abusive father and his sexually-insecure, junky of a son. Soon we are revealed to be part of an audience watching a psychotherapist perform a verbal lobotomy on his patient in front of a room of...students? Weirdos with a taste for the grossly-dramatic? The general public? I don't think this is ever fully established, but it succeeds in establishing that the movie we're about to see is going to challenge our concepts of comfort. Mine was absolutely challenged in the aforementioned "BLARGH" seen.
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| All blonde girls from 70s-80s horror movies remind me of Stephanie from Full House |
severely-rattled daughter. It speaks on several levels to parenthood, divorce, and the general pressures of the family and how the outside world can affect it. Oliver Reed (Proximo from Gladiator) is a slimy effin therapist, and right away he's introduced as one of those elements that is breaking up our hero's family. What we don't know is how exactly, but an astute viewer can get the gist of what's happening. Ultimately, the daughter is in danger, and we need to figure out how to protect her. Saving the wife -- well -- it's not so much an afterthought as much as it is a necessary evil.
In one of the more surprising turns of The Brood, we actually get to see a good amount of the creepy little monsters that are initially only shown in the shadows. This is a nice change of pace from all of those creature features that keep us guessing until the end of the movie. In The Brood, we're exposed to the demon-faced little assholes fairly early on, and it really enhances how scary this movie gets. My first impression was that this would be the baby from It's Alive, and based on this picture alone (our first glance at the monster), I wasn't too far off.
If you're looking for a theme for a double feature, one could watch The Brood along with Don't Look Now because both feature creepy children/monsters wearing red jackets. They also feature some very clever editing that you don't normally get to see in horror movies.
Can't recommend this one enough. Early frontrunner for horror movie challenger of the year.
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
Genre: Slasher
Format: 3-D DVD!
For several years I have been interested in watching 3-D movies at home, but I haven't been interested enough to purchase a 3-D TV or a 3-D player. You can't imagine how psyched I was when I realized that the Friday the 13th 4-pack I bought not only had the third installment of the series in 3-D as well as 2-D, but it also came with the old school red/blue 3-D glasses that we used to wear when we were kids! Excellent!
There's not much to gloat about with this film. It is the first of the Friday the 13th movies to show Jason in a hockey mask. That's something. And the 3-D effect produced one genuine jump moment for me early on. We got to see some eyeball violence not dissimilar from that seen in Valentine's Day. Otherwise, this is a sequel for the movie studio's sake. Not one that adds to any part of the story.
My biggest beef with this entry into the franchise is the fact that Jason is killing for the sake of being a homicidal slasher bad guy at this point, and his kills are blatant. We don't have the cause that we had in the first two movies, nor do we have the whodunnit mystery aspect of the first two movies. Jason is seen strangling, chopping, and stabbing right in front of the camera (a necessary evil for a 3-D movie, I suppose), and he does it for no reason. It's not revenge or because someone crossed some line and accidentally decided to camp on his property. He's just killing for killing's sake.
My lesser beef with this movie is dumbed-down gore or fear levels. Yes, I jumped once, but only once. I never dreaded anything during the movie like I did in the first two. If you've ever seen a 3-D movie, you've experienced the gimmicky 3-D effect of someone playing with a paddle ball, and the ball bounces back and forth at the viewer's face. Or a yo-yo comes into the audience and retracts back to the screen. Well there's actually a 3-D yo-yo gag in this horror movie. That's bad. That doesn't belong in any horror movie. Someone run through with a pitchfork and the handle waggles out into the audience? That's alright. Serial killer flings a machete towards the audience? That's ok. There's a scene of teens enjoying a rope swing...and it's ok because it sets up a later rope-related death gag. But a yo-yo gimmick? For shame!
Final two mini-beefs with this movie: we see too much of Jason's face and there's one character you are introduced to and immediately want to see butchered...and he lasts too long in the movie. I get having an obnoxious character included in a movie to relieve some level of dramatic tension, but "Shelly" (God, I hate his name, too) last way too long. And Jason's face should be the kind of Macguffin that the audience only gets to see when the character is really and truly being retired. Kind of like Darth Vader. If we'd seen his face in A New Hope, he would have lost a ton of his menacing quality. Jason's face being seen so much really reduces what that character, silent and everything, could/should be about.
Don't Go In The Woods (1981)
Genre: Ultra Cheap Slasher
Format: DVD
A movie so cheap that I imagine these trailers sopped up a good portion of its budget. Accordingly, I attach two of them here.
"AN ORGY OF UNRELENTING HORROR"
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| shouldn't have gone in the woods |
Something's out there waiting for hikers and campers, and that something is awfully cheap. It's delightfully cheap, though, and like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this film surrenders much of gore and violence to the viewer's imagination. Unlike TTCM, though, this one does it because there's no way it could afford the special effects budget. But there's a certain charm to it. This movie could easily be the origin story for some mid-80's, ultra-violent WWF wrestler. I really enjoyed it, despite all of the flaws that come with the kinds of movies made by college kids.
In one of the more "SO BAD ITS AWESOME" scenes, a wheelchair-bound "hiker" loses control of his chair, begins to roll down an embankment, and someone offscreen chops his head off with a machete. WHOAH! That's a testament to the cheap, guilty pleasure that this movie is. A super cheap, super corny, really not good version of TTCM, or The Hills Have Eyes, or Wrong Turn...and for some bizarre reason, I loved it. I'm not saying its going to challenge The Brood, but I hope someone out there watches it. So much wrong that it actually feels right.
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