Easter Weekend in Maggie Valley

So, here's a list of interesting things I've learned on this vacation with my family:

• My dad had a bit part in a student film at Ohio State where his minor character slammed an entire pint of beer, grabbed a woman's breasts, and was promptly shot to death by the movie's hero. Apparently, it took 4 takes, and each time my dad really slammed an entire beer and really grabbed a woman's breasts. And died 4 times. I don't think he has shared this story with my mom or sisters, so please don't embarrass him with this info in front of them. But he did share that he was wasted by the time the filming of this scene was complete.
• I'm determined to find this movie in OSU's archives. Apparently the director lived in the same apartment complex as my dad. And bless his heart, my dad can't remember his name, but he remembers this guy doing heroin at a party and being a Vietnam veteran. That should be enough to find him by, right?
  
• Nobody in my family believes that John Vann will be proposing to Dawn soon. All the same, I still think he's laying the ground work. Dawn and John will be moving in with each other later this summer. I have been a fan of him since he helped me learn how to play Punch Out on NES.
  
• John Vann is Dawn's boyfriend. I promptly gave him the nickname VaJOHNa (like "vagina") VANNderpants (like "underpants"). Sarah loves this nickname. Dawn says she likes it, too, but I don't fully believe it.
• Sarah will be moving back to Kentucky roughly around the same time Dawn moves in with Vajohna Vannderpants. She will be living with her boyfriend, Rob Hess.
• Rob Hess, Sarah's boyfriend, is related to Adolph Hitler's deputy, Rudolph Hess.
  
• My mom thought it would be fun to hide a golden egg with a "hidden prize" somewhere in the Maggie Valley, North Carolina cabin. She told us this after church this morning. As soon as she said this, I made a deal with my sisters and my dad that we would split the prize amongst each other. As soon as I walked into the cabin, I found the egg, and I split the $20 bill with my family. Dad and Dawn just went down to the valley to meet John Vann. Both Dad and I told Dawn to buy mom two bourbon and cokes (a.k.a. Bourbon and Coke/Barbara Control) with it.
• Every time I come to the cabin, I have serious GI issues. I can never put my finger on what exactly causes these issues, but as soon as I start drinking bourbon, it goes away. (NOTE TO SELF: always have bourbon on hand to fix my guts).

In other news, this has been a great Easter. The weather here is steady at 70 degrees. I got a sunburn from reading Hunter S. Thompson outside. Finished a Mickey Spillane novel earlier in the day, and I have another one to follow after Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is complete. I still have two more days to enjoy my family, and I can truly say that I can't see them enough. I never take them for granted, but I'm beginning to think I'll really miss them when I get home.