My Totem Animal

I had a good spot of news on Tuesday afternoon. I have found my totem animal. Or the newest incarnation of it.

For those of you unfamiliar with totem animals, totemistic religious beliefs are not uncommon throughout the world, typically in tribal societies. I associate totems with Native Americans, but that's only because I have seen the word "totem" usually followed by the word "pole." A totem animal is basically just a creature that an individual or group of people believe has mystical powers of protection.

For the longest time, I thought my totem animal would obviously have to be a gorilla, because, like gorillas, I'm clumsy, enjoy pounding my chest while screaming, and have a gray stripe of back hair.

But as of Tuesday, I'm beginning to think differently. I believe my totem animal is actually a Wild Turkey.

My boss and I were driving around some very old, residential sections of New Jersey, looking at the giant houses built into hills and trying to find a good view of the city. We weren't having much luck because the weather for the past couple of days has been the opposite of friendly to people a) wanting to enjoy a casual drive or b) find a view. The weather's just been crap with the rain and wind.

But as we were driving, looking at multi-million dollar homes, I noticed an animal dodging from behind a parked car and towards the street. So I stopped the car, and my boss and I tried to figure out what this large creature was. From a distance I thought it was a dog or a cat. As we got closer, she thought it might be a peacock ("because I could see the wealthy people around here keeping peacocks in their back yards"). But then I realized that it was a Wild Turkey

Now I realize that a Wild Turkey isn't terribly uncommon in this part of the country. Hell, the in elementary school we learned that they must have been here 300 years ago for the pilgrims to eat. So its not too much of a stretch to believe that a bird from Massachusetts could also be in New Jersey. It was just weird seeing it cross the street in a residential area.

But then I got to thinking, "this must be a sign." When I used to take walks or drive back roads in Kentucky, every once in a while I would run into a turkey here or there. When I am on the mountain in North Carolina, there's a rafter of turkeys ("rafter" is the correct term for a group of turkeys according to GoogleAnswers) usually milling around above the horse barns.

AND, maybe most importantly, Wild Turkey is one of my favorite inexpensive bourbons. ....AND... I had just finished a bottle of Wild Turkey 101 on Monday night! So, obviously, the Wild Turkey spirit has decided to watch over me now as I adventure throughout New Jersey.

It's pretty comforting, especially considering...well, I would probably still run if this totem spirit came chasing after me, but not as fast and not as fearful as if the gorilla totem spirit was chasing me. I would probably shit a brick if I saw a wild gorilla in New Jersey.